Ruin-a-Desire

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Varthikes
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Post by Varthikes »

Granted. The dentist makes a mistake and removes one of your incisors instead. (something like that actually happened to me)


I wish I could travel to other Earth-like worlds.
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Post by Mikey »

Granted. On arrival, you find that those worlds are, unfortunately, populated by people just like this planet's people.

I wish my pancreas still worked. (Don't feel sorry, I can take it - I wouldn't have put it on here if I were too sensitive.)
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
MetalHead
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Post by MetalHead »

Granted. However the only way to fix it was with nano probes and you are now a borg drone!

I wish my mug of tea was still warm.
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
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Post by Mikey »

Granted. However, it was reheated with napalm, and that cup of tea is now the only thing left in the smoldering wreckage of your home.

I wish I hadn't had that second (or third) shot of Jagermeister this evening.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
MetalHead
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Post by MetalHead »

Granted. However you can never ever drink alcohol again.

I wish I had a bottle of jagermeister to go with my JD so I could mix sledgehammers.
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
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Bryan Moore
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Post by Bryan Moore »

Granted, but you wake up the next morning married to one of the Duras sisters.

I wish I didn't need the gym to gain muscle.
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Foxbat
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Post by Foxbat »

Granted. Your daily steroid cocktail has made you super-buff. But are now impotent and suffer constant bouts of 'roid-rage'.

I wish Barry Bonds never tied or broke the home run record in Major League Baseball.
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Post by MetalHead »

Granted. The sport of baseball never existed.

I wish old people were not allowed to drive cars.
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
The Wormhole
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Post by The Wormhole »

Granted. Now old people have a special taxi service, and your a driver in it.

I wish I wasn't surrounded by sloths.
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MetalHead
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Post by MetalHead »

The Wormhole wrote:Granted. Now old people have a special taxi service, and your a driver in it.

I wish I wasn't surrounded by sloths.
hahaha as long as im drivin then we'll get into 5th gear no probs ;-)

...

Granted. You are now in sorrounded by Zombies from 28 Days Later, and they're rather hungry.

I wish I had a nice cold can of coke
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
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Post by Mikey »

Granted, but you've lost all the fingers on your right hand to frostbite, due to a misinterpretation of the phrase "nice, cold".

I wish my daughter would stop saying "no" to me and start listening.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
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Foxbat
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Post by Foxbat »

Granted. She stops speaking to you entirely. She does start to listen to you, but only while your listening to Disco music.

I wish I had a new calculator that actually works when I want it to, not when it decides to...
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Post by MetalHead »

Granted, the calculator works whenever you want it to - however it will only calculate the amount of time it will take you to break it.

I wish I had not let my friend mix me a cocktail last night

(FYI - Strongbow, Malibu, JD, And some kind of wine. Madness)
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
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